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Hi. My name is Sharon Kirstin. I’m the best-selling author of a book called The Answers Within, and this video I want to talk about arguments and one of my beautiful followers asked me how can she stop projecting her negative feelings and thoughts onto the people she loves the most? Perfect question and I really love this question because actually, arguments, I don’t really see them as arguments anymore, are such a big, big gift of transformation, especially with our partner.

Where does it all start?

So the thing is I’ve been there. I’ve had my share of arguments that led to frustration, disconnection, pain and all the bad feelings in the world where you just ask yourself, why did I say something at all? I’m not being understood, there is no solution to whatever we talked about and you just leave each other in this state of negativity and it’s important to just come together but the issue in itself is not resolved, you just want there to be harmony again because we have this inner drive, this desire to be in harmony with the people that we love, aren’t we?

So what can we do in these types of situations to navigate an argument in a powerful, enlightened and conscious way? First of all, we need to realize that whatever comes from within is ours. So every emotion that you have, it’s your emotion and it has nothing to do with the other person. That other person is only holding up a mirror to you for you so that you can see what still needs healing within you.

So when you heal that part of yourself that feels pain right now, you grow into more of you. You step back into a deeper alignment with your soul and yourself and your power. So it’s a gift. Whatever comes up for you, what emotion, you should feel excited about this. I know, this is a little bit much to ask for but feel excited about it because it’s a tremendous opportunity for growth. So please realize that everything that comes from within is your stuff, it is yours and yours alone.

Transform with your energy

Your partner is only triggering it from within you so you can shine a light on it and you can transform in the light of consciousness, to become a better person, to become a better version of you, to step into your full potential. Please don’t try to change the other person because you have no power there. It is weak to think that the other person should change for you.

No person came into his physical experience to make you feel good, to make you happy or to give you anything. You came into this physical experience to create that for yourself, to bring happiness into your own life, to be happy, to experience that for yourself to make yourself happy, fulfilled and to be the creator of that experience. You want it to experience yourself as a creator of your reality. That’s why we came into this experience, not to change other people so that you could feel comfortable.

Striking a balance

I mean, just think about what your asking. You would ask that other person to step out of their alignment, step out of their truth so that you can basically cling onto your programs and patterns and beliefs that are not serving you. So both of you would not be served because that other person would have to step out of their alignment with themselves to accommodate you and you would just be repeating your pattern that doesn’t serve you anyways.

There’s no power in this scenario. The power lies in allowing the other person to be in their alignment and to step back onto your own alignment by working through your own stuff and really becoming a better partner or better son, better mother, better whatever because you are coming from a place of full alignment with yourself.

And this doesn’t mean you are accommodating other people either. It just means that you are coming from a place of authenticity and truth and alignment with your true self and that just ripples out when people see it, people feel it, people kind of react differently to that type of energy. So leave a comment below and tell me your biggest take away from this video. Share it with your friends and subscribe to my channel. Also check out the caption below the video for a free gift and how to live your best life, how to step into your purpose and make those dreams come true.