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Hi. My name is Sharon Kirstin. I’m the best-selling author of a book called The Answers Within. So here’s my advice to you, what you can do in those moments when you feel emotionally triggered, and you kind of want to navigate that situation in a conscious empowered way.
First of all, breath. Breath.
Give yourself a moment to breath. Relax your nervous system, and just pause. Own it. Own it. Tell yourself, this is yours. Just sit with what’s coming up. You don’t have to react, you don’t have to explain, you can also just say, “look, I’m feeling something right now.I need to understand what it is.” And the second part is really to take responsibility for what’s going on because the other person didn’t give you that feeling. That feeling has been within you for a really long time. It’s just being triggered right now.
So take responsibility, own it, sit with it.
Start inquiring. What do I feel? Where do I feel it in my body? Why was it triggered? What was the trigger? Is this something that’s happening now, or is it something from the past? What do I believe that creates this pain in my life? What do I believe about myself, about my situation, or about other people that creates pain for me?Is it really the truth? Is it the truth? What do I like to believe, instead, in order to take back my power in this situation?
And when you do this, you open up the door for something new to come into your life, for new solutions, for a new way of being together with your partner. Just imagine, with your partner or friends or family members. Just imagine how powerful it is just to say, “Look, this comment of yours, it just triggered something in me. I don’t know yet what it is, but it doesn’t feel good. I think I need to inquire about this, and find a solution for me and how to deal with it.
So then I can shift it for the future, because I don’t want to feel this way about you. I don’t want to feel this way around you. And I know it’s not your fault. I know you’re only showing this to me because I need to heal it within myself.”
And maybe you’re lucky enough to have people in your life that hold space for you in those moments, really help you understand what’s going on, where they’re conscious enough to give you that space. To hold space, to be with you, to help you through it. And you know, you can also pay it forward to other people.
Whenever someone else gets hurt by what you’ve said, hold space for them as well. If you’re conscious enough to understand that they’ve created this, that it’s something that’s being triggered within them, hold space for them.
Not everyone’s going to be ready to go through this process, and that’s okay.
Please don’t try to push someone into the process because that never works. Just allow yourself, and others, to have their own process, but know that you are the creator of your life. You are powerful when you start within yourself, to change yourself. And that’s what this work is about, that’s how you change your life, and transform yourself into a better version through the vehicle of arguing.
So leave a comment below, and tell me your biggest takeaway from this video. Share it with your friends, and subscribe to my channel. Also, check out the caption below the video for a free gift on how to live your best life, how to step into your purpose, and make those dreams come true.
